2019 Reflections & New Year’s Goals

I’ll be honest: 2019 was not a great year for me. As quickly as it flew by, I struggled a lot this year. I dealt with a serious breakup and some intense seasonal depression in the spring. I even took a leap of faith and contacted a suicide hotline for the first time when I needed it. Money has been a constant source of stress and my health has been up and down a lot over the past 12 months. But most importantly, I survived with the strength to power my way through the rest of 2019 and start fresh in 2020 with a positive attitude.

Of course, it wasn’t all bad! A lot of great things happened to me in 2019, too. I met a lot of new people, including some partners that have had a deep, positive impact on me. I’ve watched the people around me grow into even more amazing human beings, despite the struggles that they have also faced. In my own struggles, I have seen the lengths that my friends will go to for me and I have been incredibly grateful for the support system that has helped me through this tough year.

In May, I switched over to working on this blog full time. It hasn’t been the easiest, but I’m so grateful to have this opportunity to do what I love for a living. I can only hope for bigger and better things to come in 2020.

Top Toys I Tried in 2019

1. B-Vibe Anal Training Kit

Best anal toy of 2019? Well, it’s actually more like three toys, two accessories, and a guide on anal play. It’s the B-Vibe Anal Training Kit! It has everything you’ll ever need to get started with anal play and it even features different sensations in each toy. It’s got the basic beginner plug, the medium vibrating plug, and the weighted large plug. The whole kit is incredible and I suggest you make the investment if you’re serious about anal training.

2. Blush Neo Elite

The Blush Neo Elite line is my favorite line of dildos for 2019! Not only are these babies dual-density and super comfy, they’re all priced at a steal! Affordable sex toys are super important to me and this line has everything you could want in a dildo at the lowest price point I’ve ever seen for its quality.

3. Uberrime Bella

My review on this one is coming soon but I didn’t want to leave it out of this list because Bella is a great body-safe dildo that’savailable on Uberrime’s site in not one, not two, but THREE densities! This is my first triple density dildo and I’m loving the concept.

4. We-Vibe Moxie

The Moxie is what made me stop hating We-Vibe (if only briefly). Their app-controlled toys are notorious for not working with my plus-size body, but the Moxie was a delightful change. Because it’s external, the connection is a lot better, and it brings a new spin on what are traditionally internal remote-controlled toys. 

5. Magic Wand Plus

Of course, the Magic Wand Plus made the list because it’s an upgrade mid-point between the original and the more expensive Rechargeable Magic Wand. This version is corded but has all the other options of the Rechargeable, without the heavy price tag.

Sponsor Shoutout

Some of the content I’ve published this year was only made possible by the sponsors I’ve worked with. While I have worked with a lot of amazing people, there are a few that I’d like to thank personally for their contributions and support.

One of the biggest allies to my blog is Blush Novelties, who remain a personal favorite in the sex toy industry. The folks over at Blush, including Ducky DooLittle, have helped with so much over the past year and made a lot of great things possible! From sponsoring programs to giving away prizes and even sending me little cards and candy in the mail, they’re just a joy to work with in every way.

I love all my affiliates but there’s a special place in my heart for SheVibe. They have sponsored a few articles I had been dying to write this past year and have provided a lot of review items to me. SheVibe is such a supportive bunch that I have made almost all of my personal sex toy purchases through their website this year. I love working with their lovely staff and being a part of their review program!


What can I say about Uberrime? Not only do they make incredible creations, but the man behind the company, Marco, has been an amazing person to work with. Together, we hosted my first-ever solo giveaway this Halloween and got to give away a really cool glow in the dark version of their Night King. This company is a personal favorite based on the quality of their work alone, but it’s also really nice to have that personal connection to the owner. Thanks for all the dildos, Marco!

Indigo Honey has worked with me several times in 2019 and I just want to give them a shout out for being so great! They’ve sponsored pieces such as my lube guide, my dilator guide, and one of the only remote-controlled toys to work for me! Thanks for working with me this past year, Indigo Honey!

Last but certainly not least, I’d like to give a shoutout to my editor, Jen. Jen has been an incredibly supportive friend who frankly deserves the world. She and I created a podcast, Platonic Pillow Talk, back in 2018 and it remains something I am truly grateful to have been a part of. Not only does she continue to support me by editing my writing, she’s the single most important person in the world to me and I’m so grateful for the 18 years of friendship we’ve shared together so far.

2020 Goals

I didn’t accomplish everything I wanted to in 2019 but I’m determined to make more happen in 2020. Here are my five goals for the new year.

1. Host more giveaways

This year I hosted my first two giveaways and it was really exciting! I worked with several other bloggers and Blush Novelties to give away a dildo, bullet vibe, and harness and then paired up with Uberrime for a Halloween giveaway where we gave one lucky winner a custom-made glow in the dark Night King. I really enjoyed giving away some prizes and will definitely be hosting more giveaways in the upcoming year!

2. Attend a conference

Due to costs, I wasn’t able to attend a sexuality conference this year, but it’s high on my priority list for 2020. I attended the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit in 2018 and found it very useful so I want to attend more workshops and conferences. I haven’t decided which events I plan on attending but I have some time to plan that out in the new year.

Are you going to a sexuality conference this year? Tell me which one in the comments!

3. Host a workshop

I haven’t hosted a workshop since 2016 but I think it’s time that changed. I’m going to try to prioritize speaking events in 2020 to help build my sex education resume. Whether that means teaching at my local dungeon, traveling to present at a college or conference, or hosting an online workshop, I want to do at least one speaking event this upcoming year.

4. Revive the Sex Tour series

One of my favorite features on the blog has gone stale this past year. I used to write a series called Sex Tour where I wrote about sex shops and events I visited, and I loved writing it. In the new year, I want to make time for more traveling (with my very limited budget) and exploring more sex shops across the country to share my experiences with you.

Do you know a good spot I should visit for Sex Tour? Let me know where I should go next in the comments!

5. Take better review photos

I take a lot of my review photos with my phone’s camera and while it may not be the best method, it’s really all I have. However, I have a few plans to take some better photos in 2020 so I’m going to hold myself accountable for this goal starting right away. I want to focus on getting clearer and brighter photos of toys using natural light. Maybe I’ll even try saving for a good camera next year!

Those are my top goals for this blog in 2020. I’m going to try really hard to make most (if not all) of them happen this upcoming year. I hope you guys have had a good year with many more good memories to come in 2020!

xx SF

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