Having concrete goals is a great motivator to get things done, whether that’s a daily to-do list or a life-long dream. Lots of people have “bucket lists” of things they want to do in their lifetime, but that idea can also apply to your sex life. Do you have any sexual fantasies you’d really like to make a reality? Are there things you’ve always wanted to try in bed but haven’t gotten to yet? Making a list of the things you want to do is a great way to share these ideas with a partner or to self-motivate you to get them done. Here are 25 ideas of things to put on your sexual bucket list–your “fuck-it list,” if you will.
1. Have a threesome
A threesome is a really common desire for people to try at least once. Whether you’re looking to add a new partner to your current dynamic, join a couple, or hook up with a couple of single friends, a threesome can be a really hot experience you’ll never forget. Keep in mind that communication is really important to the quality of your experience. Make your intentions clear, establish boundaries, and be sure to practice safe sex.
2. Have sex in public
Having sex in public can be a huge rush, but you have to keep in mind the consent of those around you. For this goal, I suggest going somewhere super secluded or at night to avoid exposure to other people. Also keep in mind that getting caught by law enforcement can result in some legal issues or fines so be very, very discreet about how you handle this one.
3. Spanking scene
A spanking scene is a common fantasy for people who are new to kink or just looking to dip their toes in the sadomasochist pool. The person receiving the spanking can either lie down on a bed, over the side, or over the knee of the spanker. Try different positions, intensities, and toys for a variety of sensations to see which you like best.
4. Wax play
Wax play can be a fun experience for those interested in an intimate scene who aren’t afraid of a little heat. While hot wax play may seem scary, it’s really not bad if you get a low temperature candle and perform aftercare. The low light and warm sensations can make for a really romantic experience. Be sure to read up on wax play safety before diving in, though.
5. Sex at a seedy motel
Sure, a romantic getaway at a B&B in the Vermont countryside sounds nice, but have you considered a sexy little staycation? If you need to get away from roommates or just want an excuse to be naughtier than usual in bed, try checking into a cheap motel for the night. It’s not going to have the amenities of a nice hotel but you’re welcome to have all the rough and dirty sex you want.
6. Sex in a foreign country
Sex while traveling is a great way to have lasting memories of your time abroad. You can travel with a partner and see how many states or countries you can have sex in, or if you’re traveling alone you can try your game at hooking up with a local. Be sure to pack your safer sex supplies!
7. Wear an anal plug in public
Anal plugs can be fun around the house or during sex but they can also be worn under clothes out in public. It’s a fun way to experience the rush of doing something sexual in public without the risk of getting caught. Wear one to the grocery store, to work, or out to lunch with a friend. For extra excitement, try a weighted or vibrating butt plug.
8. Visit a strip club
If you’ve never been to a strip club, the idea of going may sound intimidating, but it can be a great experience. Whether you’re looking to enjoy a lap dance on the floor or get a private show in the VIP room, you’re sure to have a blast. Bring a stack of singles to tip the performers generously (their income is usually entirely based on those tips) and be respectful of all house rules.
9. Play in a dungeon
Have you ever thought about what it would be like to play in front of other people in a public space that’s designed for that sort of thing? Research online to see if there’s a local dungeon in your area you can try out. In these spaces, you’re able to play (and sometimes even have sex!) in front of others without worrying about exposing yourself to non-consenting parties. They also usually have big pieces of furniture for spanking, bondage, or other kinky scenes. Be sure to pack a play bag with the essentials if you choose to attend a play party.
10. Visit a sex shop
If you haven’t been to a sex shop, you should give it a try! This is especially fun if you’re going with a close friend or partner. Look into the Google reviews of the shops near you to find the best option, as sex shops can really vary in quality. You should also have a basic understanding of sex toy materials before you head in there, just so you know you’re not buying something toxic. For ideas of what sex shops are like, check out some of the places I’ve visited on my Sex Tour map.
11. Devote an entire day to sex
Most people have had a lot of sex on a particular day but have you ever devoted your entire day to sex before? Make a commitment to stay in bed together one lazy Sunday and really focus on each other’s pleasure. Breaks for cuddling and making out are good to space out the actual sex, but you can also take time to focus on specific sex acts or toys. Be sure to stock up on lube, sports drinks, and snacks for your big day.
12. Join the mile high club
The “mile high club” is the exclusive theoretical club for those who have had sex on an airplane. With their notoriously tiny bathrooms and crowded seating, I’m not sure how most people get away with having sex on a plane but if you’re able to, it’s definitely an exciting adventure you won’t forget. Remember to keep in mind your subtlety around non-consenting parties.
13. Make a sex tape
You don’t have to be a celebrity to make a sex tape of your own. Set up a camera to capture a moment of passion with your partner and then watch it together another day for inspiration. Knowing you’re being recorded can be really hot for some people, but it may also make you camera shy. Don’t expect your video to be porn-quality, but you might really end up enjoying the thrill of watching yourself have sex. Be sure you do this with someone you trust not to publish or distribute it without your consent.
14. Hire a sex worker
A sex worker can do so much for your sex life. They’re a great resource when you’re looking to explore specific kinks or try something new for the first time. In fact, there are lots of reasons to hire a sex worker. Going on vacation? Check out some websites for local escorts to make your time in a new place really special.
15. Sex at someone’s wedding
You don’t have to be a real-life wedding crasher, but the idea of hooking up at someone’s wedding can be really hot. You can bring your date and sneak off during the reception or see if you can hook up with someone from the other side of the wedding. You’re already dressed in your best outfit and there’s probably an open bar to loosen up. See if you can have a quickie and sneak back in before the toasts begin.
16. Fill out a sex compatibility test
If you’re interesting in exploring more in your sex life, try taking a sex or kink compatibility quiz with your partner. Websites like We Should Try It are great for helping you figure out what kinds of things you both want to try in bed. Devoting some time to fill one of these measures out can really help expand your sex to include more things you want to try. It’s a great conversational tool, as well.
17. Mutual masturbation
Don’t knock this one until you try it. Lie down in bed with your partner and focus on masturbating. Watch your partner touch themselves while you do the same and get off without having actual sex. It’s really exciting to get off on your partner’s energy and you can learn a lot about how they like to be fucked.
18. Sex in a car
Sex in a car probably won’t be an amazing experience, but it’s a rite of passage in a way. It’s reminiscent of teenage hooliganism and can make you feel young and carefree to just park your car and take your partner right there. Sure, it might be cramped and rushed, but it’s usually done with plenty of passion in the heat of the moment.
19. Strip card game
Strip Poker is the classic version of the strip card game but you can take that idea and work it into any game, really. If you’re having a party with friends it can be a really exciting way to get frisky if everyone is down. Try different games to see what works best for your group. You can even add in some drinking game elements to up the ante a bit.
A little sexual roleplay can add a lot to your scene. Try the cliches of a student/teacher or doctor/patient roleplay or get super creative with personalized roles to suit your fantasies. With roleplay, you can really do anything you want. Add in props or a themed outfit to make it more fun. It might be awkward at first but if you let yourself get into the roleplay and really enjoy the scene, it can be really fun to explore together.
21. Sexy photoshoot
If you have lingerie of any kind, a fun idea for your sexual bucket list is to do a sexy photoshoot with your partner. Dress up and take lots of photos on the bed or in a space with a nice backdrop or clean background. You can go through them together and pick your favorites and even get them printed. Just make sure to do so at the self-serve printing booths to avoid any embarrassment.
22. Sex in a jacuzzi
Sex in a jacuzzi is something you see in movies a lot. It makes sense–you’re in a hot and steamy situation, very close to someone, possibly already naked or close to it. If you have your own hot tub, this item won’t be any trouble for you to complete. However, if you need to find a suitable place to do this one you can try a bath house or hotel. Some hotels have special rooms that include a large tub or jacuzzi for an added price, and it isn’t always that much more expensive. My former partner and I visited a local hotel every few months for this exact purpose. There’s nothing like a weekend getaway, naked in a hot tub with some wine and someone to share it with.
23. Visit a nude beach
If you’ve never been to a nude beach, it’s worth a try. Being nude in an acceptable public space can be so freeing but when you add in the ocean and perfect conditions for an even tan, it can be amazing. While it might not be something you end up doing regularly, visiting a nude beach at least once will be a memorable activity.
24. Sex under the stars
Having sex outdoors is exciting in itself, but doing it under the stars is a super romantic activity. This is a great thing to try while camping if you have some privacy. You can also try this in your backyard or in the bed of a pickup truck parked in a field somewhere. Get creative and enjoy the night sky while you’re with someone special.
25. Wear a remote control vibrator
To really up the excitement of a date night, try adding a remote controlled vibrator. Remote-controlled toys are fun during dinner dates as well as activities. See if you can make your partner squirm over a nice dinner or take them bowling and see if turning their toy on at the right moment can mess up their shot. Tease them mercilessly out in public before taking them home.
Do you have a sexual bucket list? What kinds of things are on yours? Please feel free to share using the comments below if you have additional ideas!
As always, all writing and opinions are my own.