Finding out people’s hidden talents is a really fun experience. It’s just nice to know little fun facts about people and how they picked them up. My best friend accidentally mastered a trick with her hands where she can seamlessly twirl her pen through all her fingers while she’s reading. A girl from a community theater production I was in can contact juggle–that crystal ball trick from the movie Labyrinth. My boyfriend can solve the Rubik’s cube in about a minute. My roommate from college performs hula-hooping at bars and parties while on fire.
What’s my party trick? I can reach orgasm using only my mind.
It may not always be acceptable to talk about during workshop icebreakers, but I take pride in it. It’s a talent I discovered accidentally at the age of 20 on a first date, of all places. I was relatively new to kink, withdrawn, and after a messy two-year period with an abusive partner, had experienced very few genuine partnered orgasms. Cumming without any physical stimulation in a near-stranger’s car on a first date was the last thing I thought possible at the time.
I only remember a few things about the actual dinner date.
- I was incredibly nervous; my leg kept shaking uncontrollably under the table.
- I kept apologizing for being such a nervous mess, which just made things more awkward.
- At one point, I choked on my water and then tried to brush it off by saying that never happened (I choked on water on our second date, too).
- He was unfazed by any of my nervous slip-ups.
- He did most of the talking while I listened. But not in a self-involved kind of way. It was a very focused, calming, guided conversation on his end, and like a moth to a flame, I got lost in his voice.
The drive home was the most exciting part, and I don’t even remember much of it. I remember he took the long way back–avoiding highways and taking long, winding back roads I wasn’t familiar with. Looking back, I should have been more aware of the situation as it could have gotten dangerous, but I had an incredible amount of trust in this person from the very beginning.
He talked in that low, calm voice the entire way, but there was no conversation. He described how I was feeling without any prompting, somehow knowing everything that was going on with my body. He framed it in embarrassing ways, telling me exactly how wet I was and how my breathing had changed. He was so in sync with me that I found myself confused at how he knew everything he described with such certainty. Everything was so precise. At the time, I didn’t know how to make sense of it. I still can’t be certain he isn’t some kind of mind-control wizard.
He let his voice rise and fall gently while I squirmed in the passenger seat, picking up on every soft moan, every bite of my lip, every time I closed my eyes to imagine the things he’d do to me. I experienced true subspace for the first time on this drive home, and I succumbed to every word he said. I dropped hard into what felt like another state of consciousness.
I was non-verbal the entire ride back, but receptive enough to his words that he knew he could continue. I was edging in my seat, a completely new experience I wasn’t sure how to handle. When we got to my parking lot, I wasn’t sure how to say goodnight. After the intense journey my mind went through on the ride home, I wasn’t ready to be left alone to figure things out for myself.
He parked far enough away from my building to avoid interruption and turned to face me. For the first time since dinner, I felt like he was talking to me instead of narrating what was going on inside my head. I stayed in a docile, blissful subspace while he talked to me, nodding along when consent was necessary.
We fooled around in his car for a bit. I performed oral sex on him in the dimly lit parking lot and he slapped my face when I came up for air. I loved every minute of it and my whole body buzzed with excitement as I went into sensory overload. He kissed me and fondled me until I pulled back from being over-stimulated. He let me sit back in the seat while he described a scene to me. I let myself moan a little louder, bite my lip a little harder. Then it happened.
I came right then and there–a mental orgasm. No hands on my body. Nothing stimulating me but his voice. I let it wash over me until I was sure it was over. It was incredibly intense, confusing, and–frankly–embarrassing. But he grinned and chuckled and called me “good girl.”
The first time was a complete surprise but each time after that, I started identifying what was happening faster. My dates, I’ve found, are always surprised by my hidden talent. Once it happened during phone sex with a long-distance partner and they no idea I had actually orgasmed. Another time (on another first date, surprisingly), I came while sitting on a grassy hill of my college campus at 1AM while my date growled all the things he wish he could do to me in my ear. When he realized I came from that alone, he immediately drove me home and fucked me in the basement of my apartment building.
The friend who unlocked the concept of mental orgasms to me has stayed in my life after all these years. We’ve even explored erotic hypnosis a bit, training me to edge or orgasm with certain visual cues. I’ve found that my mental orgasms are the most intense sexual experiences I’ve yet to have.
My not-so-secret talent is sometimes confusing, but always a pleasure for those involved. It never ceases to amaze a partner of mine and I take great pride in my abilities. I may not be able to juggle or hula hoop but if the scene is right I can be quite the entertainment at a play party.