For the sexting addict in your life, I give you: The Emojibator. That’s right, an emoji vibrator! Emojibator has taken your favorite food emoji euphemisms and turned them into fuckable vibes, available in your choice of eggplant (🍆), red chili pepper (🌶), and the soon-to-be-released banana (🍌). Anyone hungry?
The Emojibator may be small at 4.76″ long and 1.27″ at the widest diameter, but it contains a decent vibe that can be felt from stem to tip. Its size was actually something that appealed to me and my partner. I prefer travel toys that don’t require outlets or a lot of space in my suitcase, and my partner was looking for a small toy for beginner-level penetration. While I would have chosen the eggplant on my own accord, my partner really loved the tapered shape of the chili pepper, so we decided to go with that.
This little guy is made of pure silicone, so it’s velvety smooth and slightly squishy with a flexible tip. It is complete safe in water, so playing in the shower, bath, or pool is an added bonus! Cleaning is super easy since it’s waterproof. All you need to do is give it a scrub by hand with some warm water and antibacterial soap. For a deeper clean, soak it in a 5-10% bleach solution, then rinse thoroughly with water. (Although it is submersible, you should not boil toys with electronic components.)
The Emojibators have ten settings to choose from. Cycling through them using the button hidden in the stem is easy–identifying exactly what the settings are supposed to be is not.
- Quick pulsing.
- Long steady, short bursts, long steady.
- Short bursts, medium bursts.
- Gradual increase, short bursts.
- Long pulsing.
- Short bursts.
- Indescribable erraticism.
The Emojibator turns off on the eleventh click of the stem.
A lot of companies think that more vibration settings are always a good thing but to be frank, a lot of these just don’t seem necessary to me. Sex blogger Epiphora took a poll for her review on the We-Vibe Wish that showed that 86% of respondents thought that steady vibrations were more important than patterns when using a vibrator clitorally. While the multiple settings on the Emojibator isn’t exactly a downside, its battery usage is.
Almost all of my electronic sex toys fall under the category of being corded or rechargeable. The Emojibator, however, has failed me in that sense. Not only does it not have the option to recharge with a USB cord, but it takes watch batteries (LR44, to be exact). Four of them!
Watch batteries are just a frustrating choice since I never have them just lying around the house in a junk drawer. So when my chili pepper vibrator dies unexpectedly, I’ll be switching to something else until I get myself to a pharmacy or supermarket for replacement batteries. Getting the dead batteries out of the Emojibator isn’t an easy task, either. I found myself slamming it a bit on my desk to get batteries to come out. Whoops!
When you consider the price of the Emojibator ($29), this downside isn’t all that bad. In the sex toy world, $29 doesn’t exactly buy you a lot of frills. However, Emojibator has revolutionized the idea of a “cheap novelty toy” for me.
Safety: A Novel Idea
Here’s the thing about sex toy regulations: they suck. All too often, a toy made of unsafe or even toxic (AKA: Jelly) materials is allowed to be sold in sex shops or through online retailers under the guise of being a “novelty.” These companies label their toys as novelties to avoid any potential law suits when someone develops serious problems due to infection or irritation from sex toy materials that aren’t body-safe. Emojibator is a new way of thinking about novelty sex toys.
Obviously, it’s a novelty. Unless you’ve developed a pretty heavy vegetable fetish (no judgement!), it’s pretty clear that these products are meant to be a joke. They’re small, cute, and kind of ridiculous. Perfect for millennials obsessed with texting and social media. But they’re made of pure silicone and that is a big deal if you know about sex toy materials. I wouldn’t have ever considered buying an emoji-shaped sex toy if it were made of unsafe materials. I don’t care how funny the concept is if you can’t safely use it for its intention. The Emojibator takes the novelty of a euphemism, literally wraps it in body-safe silicone and sells it for under $30. It’s not a bad deal, honestly.